Kids these days. It's like they have their own language. They've developed a whole series of whatever-they-call-it jargon, a kind of periodic table of quips, I call them E-cronymns (i.e. OMG= Oh My God and WTF= what the fuck?) and we, being but children wrapped in a wrinkly veneer, have picked them up. I say it's time to rise up and confound them with our own terms, based on our years of accrued knowledge, that reflect a more jaded point of view and our stage of life. So I've come up with a few of these little gismos that you can use to confound those of lesser intelligence and/or age: IDC   I don't care

SMITH    Shoot me in the head

WMI      Where am I?

WRU12     What are you, 12?

FT2   Funnier the first time

(U)   Yes it's all about you

SLBS    Sorry, low blood sugar

iTiWM    I think I wet myself

OGMPC    Oh good. More political crap

MGF       My gastritis is flaring

HURDI     Have you READ the Declaration of Independence?

J8MN     Just ate, must nap

<?> What the hell are you talking about?

AARp    Another annoying republican

ICRYD    I can't read your drivel

SP   Did your computer not come with spell check?

8O4B    I had oatmeal for breakfast

YID    Your information is dubious

Fi      Fucking irony   (a more advanced version of WTF)

U≠M   You are no match for me

T4TS   Time for the Tonight Show

BFN   (bye for now)