The importance of a good tag line

With the advent of the "Painter of light" came the realization that marketing and art CAN work together to create a happier and wealthier existence for the aggrandizing artist. I hadn't thought that much about it of late but today while flipping through the current issue of American Art Collector I stumbled across this little gem of a tag line, "The latest cubist master". What the hell does that mean? How does the artist know that he is the most very recent cubist master incarnation? Surely a newer one has cropped up in the amount of time it took to put that issue to bed... and who bestowed the title of master on him anyway? The Royal Academy perhaps? Doubtful. So this got my little wandering brain to thinking about some alternative tag lines that are maybe a little more honest than some of the ones I've been seeing. Feel free to add to the list. You have to sort of envision these after an artists name in an ad for the full effect. Maybe in a nice italic script font. The painter of lite

Contemporary cafe painter

An American Smarmist

The greatest neo-fauvist surrealist in my zip code.

Copying someone else since 1994

Best Western Artist

Because art should never be scary.

The Faux Nostalgist

Unjustifiably expensive.

Because a real job is out of the question

Trained in the east to paint the west.

My spouse has a trust fund.

Who doesn't like a naked woman?

Trompe L'Acquereur

Mysteriously able to afford full page ads.

Another contemporary mannerist

I'm in this magazine so I must be good.

Bringing new life to old ideas.

So incredible you must look away.

Abstract means never having to say you're sorry.

I know everyone else has painted this but it's my turn now.

I paint nudes because I can.

Just when you think you can't look at another landscape....

God's visual ambassador.